J spent the last 2 weeks taking daily swim lessons at the local YMCA. It's a half hour long class and since I'm not a member, I can't go walk the track or on the treadmill. Thus I am forced to sit in the lobby and listen to the inane chatter around me. If there was ever something that would send me over the edge to start binge drinking it might be if I had to spend more than a half hour sitting there listening the most ridiculous of conversations and observing the sociology class that is a typical soccer/swim mom and her offspring.
There is so much fodder in my brain on this, I may have to select just my favorites and reserve the rest for another time.
Musing #1: It doesn't matter how sing-songy you make your voice towards your darling little cherub as they are beating another child over the head. They aren't going to listen to you if you make it sound like Mary Poppins singing "A Spoonful of Sugar". Trust me, they will continue to bludgeon their playmate.
Musing #2: After dropping off your child at the swimming pool, you are supposed to exit the area via one of the locker rooms, not the emergency exit with the sign telling you exit via the emergency exit. Ergo, you have NO RIGHT to complain that the chlorine has corroded the metal door and that you'll get rust smears on your white pants as you butt your way out the door to herd your other children out of the pool area.
Musing #3: The lifeguard is really serious when he tells you to stop your child while they are running around the pool area, despite the numerous signs that clearly state in large red letters, "NO RUNNING!"
Musing #4: The whole lobby does not need to hear how you and your diet buddy are doing eating 2 ounces of chicken, a quarter of a potato and a HUMONGOUS salad for dinner and then wonder why half an hour later you are starving and wanting to eat all the ice cream treats you bought for the kids. And further more, it is amazing how a grown woman can make herself look utterly ridiculous wearing a cropped Hello Kitty shirt with her hair in two on-top-of-the-head pony tails and her yoga pants because "she's going to go work out on the treadmill for two hours" while her kids are in the Child Watch.
All that said, I'm off to the YMCA to sign J up for day camp for a week next month. The one saving grace, I can drop him at 9AM and leave the facility until 4PM. The inane is avoidable.