Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Public Service Announcement: Air Travel

We just came back from eight days in Florida. This required round trip air travel. The following is a Public Service Announcement:

  • When you are waiting in the terminal for your flight and are unable to control your multitude of children, it really is not necessary to screech their names 75 times each. If you can't control them, please don't fly.
  • Again, when waiting in the terminal that has too few seats in the waiting area, it is not necessary for you to spread all your carry-on crap over multiple chairs, one chair per person
  • Regarding personal hygeine, it is a delicate balance. While it is nice to your fellow passengers to actually you know, bathe before traveling, it is not necessary to dump the entire bottle of cologne or perfume on yourself before you leave home or freshen it up in close proximity to everyone else.
  • Once you've boarded the plane and before you depart the gate, I realize that cell phones are still allowed to be used, but is it really necessary for you to call every one of your business contacts and tell them all about Phase 2 of your latest project, interjecting the words "Phase two" every third word? You really aren't all that important in the grand scheme of things and no one around you cares about how important you think you are.
  • While on the plane, the people around you don't really want to hear about how your friend is taking flying lessons and survived a crash landing. Really, they don't.
  • Your fellow passengers, many of whom are children on their way to Disney World (the Happiest Place on Earth), don't need to hear racist jokes. And there is no need to be offended when one of your fellow passengers tells you to shut up because clearly, if you are telling racist jokes, you are an idiot.
  • While in flight, if the seat belt sign is on and there is turbulence, the pilot and flight attendants really do want you to be sitting in your seat with your seat belt fastened. This is not the time to wander around the plane to talk to your friend who is not sitting with you because you boarded the plane at the last minute. And when the flight attendant politely asks you to take your seat, an eye roll & sigh in reply is not necessary. Really, it isn't.

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